Failing in college as a teen or young adult with autism and/or learning differences can be a stressful time for the entire family. Parents have already invested countless hours obtaining a diagnosis and related services, attending and advocating at IEP meetings, securing accommodations, creating transition plans, planning social time, dealing with legal matters, and much more.
Not only that, the young adult may experience failure internally and become depressed or anxious about their future, making it more difficult to motivate them to pursue a productive path forward.
Consider this narrative: “I have had nothing but negative experiences when it comes to school. I went to a university and flunked out because I was struggling with depression. I didn’t eat, sleep, or shower. So, I went back to community college and failed again. I transferred to another university, but I see the same pattern—initially attending classes, then missing one, and feeling too ashamed to go back.”
Does this sound familiar?
For neurodivergent young adults, the transition to higher education can feel especially daunting. Families often invest time, energy, and resources into getting the right diagnoses, arranging accommodations, and planning for the future. But when things don’t go as planned, it’s important to recognize that these failures often stem from the broader challenges young people face as they navigate the complexities of higher education and independent living.
Here are some common reasons young adults with autism or learning differences struggle in higher education:
It’s essential to frame these challenges not as failures, but as learning experiences. At the College Internship Program (CIP), we emphasize the idea that individuals with autism and learning differences are made for good purpose, inherently valuable, and capable of shaping their lives in ways that work for them.
Many young adults face developmental delays that hinder their ability to manage the complexities of college life, even if they excelled in high school. The key is understanding that everyone's path to independence is different.
The primary features of a productive educational program or support system often includes:
There are numerous examples of highly successful people with learning differences. (Check out this slideshow of famous people with learning differences created with the help of Judy Bass, founder of Bass Educational Services).
Researching and planning for your young adult's next moves can be difficult as access to a clearing house of information is not readily available. Many families turn to their trusted friends and advisors or utilize the services of an experienced educational consultant to help determine good-fitting alternatives.
Many families begin to ask questions such as: Is college really the best pathway? Would vocational training be a better option? What strengths and challenges are unique to my young adult and how will they be addressed in an educational setting? Will my young person be happy?
In a recent study by the Government Accountability Office (GAO), 24 panelists, including adults with ASD, service providers, researchers, and parents of youth with ASD, identified 14 Key Services Needed to Support Transitioning Youth with Autism Spectrum Disorder. These areas should be reviewed when considering your own family's needs.
The traditional college experience is not for everyone, and it’s important to take a step back to evaluate all available options. About 40% of students enrolled in CIP’s transition programs arrive after an unsuccessful attempt at college. Common patterns of failure highlight the need for programs that offer structured support in both executive functioning and social skills.
Here are several pathways that families should consider:
Vocational Training: Some students may benefit more from a skills-based, hands-on approach to learning. By tapping into a student’s interests and strengths, vocational training can lead to meaningful employment and independence.
Gap Year or Post-Graduate Programs: These programs offer students time to mature, build skills, and gain life experience before returning to a college setting or entering the workforce.
Transition Programs: Designed specifically for individuals with learning differences, these programs focus on life skills, academic support, social connections, and career exploration in a structured, supportive environment.
Therapeutic Programs: If mental health challenges such as depression or anxiety are the root cause of academic struggles, addressing these underlying issues first through therapeutic interventions may lead to greater success in the future.
Encourage your young adult to take ownership of their next steps. Empower them to set personal goals that align with their interests and strengths. Self-determination is key to long-term success and well-being.
Tip: Work with your student to identify small, achievable goals, then celebrate each milestone. This builds confidence and motivation.
Gradually increasing levels of independence within a structured environment can help young adults transition into fully independent living. Transition programs like CIP offer scaffolding that allows individuals to grow at their own pace with oversight and support.
Tip: Establish a system of responsibility where tasks are broken down into manageable parts, ensuring progress without overwhelming the individual.
CIP emphasizes executive functioning training in its programs. Tools like planners, checklists, and apps can help students keep track of assignments, manage their time, and organize their daily tasks.
Tip: Start with one executive function at a time (e.g., time management). Use technology to reinforce habits—apps such as Google Calendar or Todoist can simplify task tracking.
Social isolation can be a significant barrier to success in college. Establishing a strong support network through social activities, group projects, or study groups can increase engagement and motivation.
Tip: Encourage participation in campus or local community activities that align with the student’s interests. Peer support groups for neurodiverse students can provide valuable connections.
Depression and anxiety are common in students with learning differences. It’s important to seek out mental health services and build coping strategies that address these challenges head-on.
Tip: Build a routine that includes self-care activities, physical exercise, and regular check-ins with mental health professionals.
Every student’s journey will be unique. Sometimes, families benefit from enlisting the help of an educational consultant or working with specialized programs to identify the best fit for your young adult Programs that offer individualized, holistic support help students develop self-advocacy, social skills, and the ability to manage their daily responsibilities—skills essential for long-term success in both academic and career pursuits.
Before making any decisions, conduct a thorough needs assessment that evaluates the strengths, challenges, and interests of your young adult. Some key questions to ask include:
While failing in college can be disheartening, it's also an opportunity for growth. CIP believes that building resilience, self-determination, and executive functioning skills can pave the way for future success. By identifying alternative pathways, leveraging a holistic support system, and empowering students to define their own success, families can help their young adults transition into independence and fulfillment.
Remember, challenges will arise, but with the right support and perspective, your student’s potential is boundless!
Resource: Download this Shopping for a Program Checklist to help identify the various features and benefits of different programs and services as you research your options